Asrar El Banat

Would like to send my deep wishes for a Eid full of joy for us all ...& an unpainful one for the sheep!

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 10:06 AM | Permalink | Comments

Gurls Good morning,

Happy New Year...

Inspired by a Friend's "new yr's resolutions" ..I found myself opening a new word document...sharpened my "teeth"..oh! sorry..i mean my "nails"..ouh! again?..i mean my "brains" to come up with a "true" wish list ...

In a few moments..i found myself writing the below list [which I must admit is not so traditional :)]

Feel free to come up with your own list..and be "creative"..we Kol Sana wentom Taybeen :)


May I keep my heart guarded against the "not-really-worth-it" guys!

May all those who "took me for granted" ..taste a "bottle" of their own doing!

May I have enough tolerance to "not hit-that-abnoxious- guy" who still wants to be "selective" when he is "yadoab" approaching 40!

May I get enough "training" to master the "playing- games" expertise!

May I get enough "Authority" to "kick Off" those "bunch of losers" standing day & nite (until dawn) infront of my place..smoking "akeed mesh bass cigarettes", laughing out "devlishly", and of course " gazing at me fel tall3ah wel nazzla"

May I do a "complete-make-over" to those "theoratically: male species" but fail to act as one!

May I "loosen a wild beast" on the "so-called-men" who think that beating up their wives is an act of "masculinity"!

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 10:53 AM | Permalink | Comments

Maria ,a beautiful Latino, fell in love with Jose.
She planned to marry very soon. She was so happy about her wedding plans, she decided to tell her papa.
Papa told her, "Maria, you'll have to find another boyfriend.Your Mother does not know this, but Jose is your half-brother."
So Maria forgot about her Jose, and soon planned to marry Ricardo.
But after telling papa again, he said, "Maria there's trouble still. You cannot marry Ricardo, my darling. Please don't tell your mother,but Ricardo is your half-brother too."
Maria had no choice but to go to her mama.
Mama already knew and said "My darling, do what makes you happy. Marry Ricardo or marry Jose, because you are not related to Papa."

(Author of joke unknown.)

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 10:10 AM | Permalink | Comments

Every time I come across this I find it utterly hilarious, and absolutely true! And it still amazes me that even though us women know exactly what men mean when they say any of this stuff, we still pretend to believe them!

"Woman driver!"
Really means....
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."

"I don't care what color you paint the kitchen."
Really means....
"As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."

"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means....
"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really mean....
Absolutely nothing.
It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling.

"Good idea."
Really means....
"It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating."

"Have you lost weight?"
Really means....
"I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."

"You cook just like my mother used to."
Really means....
"She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."

"I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind.
"Really means....
"I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means....
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear."
Really means....
"Are you still talking?"

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
Really means....
"I forgot our anniversary again."

"You know how bad my memory is."
Really means....
"I remember the theme song to F Troop, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I do help around the house."
Really means....
"I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."

"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means....
"I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"I missed you."
Really means....
"I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means....
"No one will ever see us alive again."

"We share the housework."
Really means....
"I make the messes, she cleans them up."

"I broke up with her."
Really means....
"She dumped me."

(While shopping) "I like that one better."
Really means…
"Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!"

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair."
Really means…
"I liked it better before."

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair."
Really means…
"$50 and it doesn't look that much different!"

"What's wrong?"
Really means…
"What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?"

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 2:58 PM | Permalink | Comments

Remember that excruciatingly annoying song by Aqua called "Barbie Girl"? Well, whoever created this new-and-improved version of the song is out to avenge every single person on the planet who was tortured by the original on radio and TV channels for months on end; thereby suffering the destruction of the perfectly good year of 1997. Listen and thoroughly enjoy:-)

http://www.robrob8.com/song_parody/uglygirl.htm

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 3:50 PM | Permalink | Comments

Part I: here

SpeciMEN #2: The Melody Man
Any woman who has walked the streets of Cairo knows this guy.
He's the one on foot/ riding a bicycle who the second you pass by him starts SINGING!! And he has this talent of making it seem like he's in the middle of a song when he just started! You cant always figure out the songs..but they usually contain "el amar...malak ya helw...za3lan leih...tab nazra...etc" & it's accompanied by a sleazy smile that makes you want to puke!
If you use the "ignorance" treatment it'll pass. But lately I've resorted to giving the guy a piece of my mind (wish i could give him a peace of my puke) so I comment on his voice. Ofcourse, very negative comments! So they get surprised & shut up!
Please someone tell them that their melodies are not welcome!

To be continued...

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 11:19 AM | Permalink | Comments

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 12:15 AM | Permalink | Comments

It's not fair to say that all men are the same, but there is no denial that there are some traits that are shared by males everywhere regardless of their age, nationality or race. One of the most noticeable trademarks of the male personality is the love of the unreachable. Men are always after the most unreachable jobs, the most unreachable cars and most importantly, the most unreachable women. It seems that the harder a woman is to get, the more they enjoy the pursuing process.

The Chase:
Situation:
"Moudy has suffered from unrequited love for months. The reason for this is that he has had a crush on Touty ever since he glimpsed her in the club. Even though she brushed him off, he pursued her for weeks and repeated boringly to his friends how he was just dying for her to like him back. He didn't lose interest in her until she decided to give him a chance. That's when he decided to pursue another girl, who was conveniently not interested in him at all."

Whenever a man says that he doesn't really like women who play hard to get, you can be ninety nine percent sure that he's lying. In fact, men actually enjoy pursuing this type of women because for them half the fun of the relationship lies in the chase itself. Men thoroughly take pleasure in pursuing hard-to-get females. How else do you explain the fact that for as long as you can remember every single guy at school/college/work is always interested in the same girl; the one who always ignores her admirers.

The Grass is Greener:
Situation:
"Mido has been with Kooky for years and everybody knew he was head-over-heals in love with her, but he just wouldn't make a commitment. Every time he opened his mouth to propose to her he would start fantasizing about meeting other women, such as a Julia Roberts look alike or his best friend's girlfriend, whose photo he'd seen and was wishing to see the original of for months. At this point he would smile innocently and say "Kooky honey, why don't we put off this step a little longer?'"

Most men believe in the saying of "The grass is greener on the other side", especially when it comes to women. Even when a man is crazy about the woman in his life he usually balks at the point of making a commitment to her. The reason for this is that every time he's about to take this decision a little voice inside his head says " You could always wait and meet someone better" or "What if you get married and then meet a rich, gorgeous movie star the next day?"

The Availability Aspect:
Situation:
"Hamada and Kimo have been best friends for a long time. The only problem is that Hamada has become obsessed with Kimo's girlfriend. Even though he could literally be with any other girl, he just can't get her out of his mind. Despite the fact that rule number one of male friendship says "Your best friend's girlfriend is OFF LIMITS", Hamada still insists on pursuing her out of the 17, 00 different single girls in his life."

The mere fact that a man can't have a woman makes her all that more appealing. The more unattainable a woman is, the more attractive she seems to be, for some reason. A classic example is the movie-star syndrome. It's when a man has a massive crush on a famous actress just because he knows that she's impossible to get. This also applies to several other cases such as the best friend's girlfriend, the neighbour's daughter and other similarily unavailable females.

The Risk Factor:
Situation:
"Doudy is a happily married man with three kids. He has a lucrative career in his father-in-law's company and is only one step away from a big promotion. His only problem is his infatuation with the office secretary. Knowing that if anything happens there's a 99% chance it will cause rumours in the company, get back to his boss, then to his mother-in-law and finally his wife, which will lead to him losing his job, getting kicked out of his house and becoming a nobody, he still pursues the 78 year old secretary."

All men have a risk-taking gene in their bodies which they just can't seem to have any control over. It causes them to more or less act before they think especially when it comes to pursuing women. Actually, hunting them is more like it. Males thrive on the danger that comes with hunting an unpredictable woman. In the Stone Age, men used to hunt wild animals, and since dinosaurs became extinct the next best prey became the female species (which is, as they come to realize, more dangerous than any dinosaur).

The question of "Why do men always want the women they can't have'? doesn't really have a clear cut answer except that the male motto is "What I can't get is better than what I already have". To most men, the attractiveness of a woman is directly proportional to her availability. The problem is; if all men are only interested in the unavailable women, what are all the available women supposed to do?

Source: Mask-Off Magazine

Note: This is meant to be a humorous piece, so guys, please don't be offended:-)

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 11:59 PM | Permalink | Comments

Came across this on Rambling Hal's Blog (phenomenal blog btw, you all should check it out).

Here it is ladies and gents (especially gents);

Ode to the Nice Girls

This rant was written because a nice girl finally snapped. I've read the tribute to the nice guys; this is my response. This is my tribute to the nice girls. To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they'd rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisified with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys. This is what I don't understand. Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made.

Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mindgames, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call... and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl.

You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intermural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it. So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me." You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl.. so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express.

Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congradulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race. So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)
Sometimes the nice girl gets sick of waiting .

Source: Click here.

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 5:59 PM | Permalink | Comments

Egyptian women are constantly bombarded by such a wonderful time on the street!

It has been brought to my attention that not all egyptian men are even aware of what we go through day in and day out by just walking/driving/riding in the street!
I will try to explain to those unaware men, mearly beacause I believe these men don't know because they do not contribute to our misery..

SpeciMEN #1: The Crazy Taxy
When hauling a taxi cab you are usually judged by your looks...meaning..if you're well-dressed it translates to paying alot. So the moment you get into the cab.. you check your watch to see how long the trip will take.. you start praying quietly the streets aren't crouded or else the driver will start talking which means big problem! If and when he starts talking, he'll either be the talkative kind & ultimatley go into politics & the how the US controls the UN(!) blabla OR he'll start swearing 3al balad wel 3eisha!
Ofcourse there is also the religious extremist diver..who apart from looking at you with scary eyes..will start an obnoxiously loud cassette tape with a strange man shouting his lung out about how Muslim women should dress & act!
So you, if you're lucky, arrive to your destination. It's time for a very tricky & artful technique: How to get out of the cab, pay & start walking away in the same instant! Or else, you're in for a fight for paying too little, going too far, or being inconciderate to the time of day the driver graciously gave you!

To be continued...

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 11:12 AM | Permalink | Comments

The second worst day in history is when things dont work out with the love of your life..but further ...when you HAVE to move on..but you dont know how to "undo" your past love!

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 2:18 PM | Permalink | Comments

The worst day in history is the day you find someone who is near perfect for you, that they love you too and that it's never going to work out.

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 3:19 PM | Permalink | Comments

How do you girls & guys define Love?

If you have been in a "real" love relationship..one that is unforgettable

Tell us:
1) how did it feel when u first discovered.."Looks like I am in Love?"
2) After how long did u feel like u r in love?
3) Did it end?
4) If it ended, did u encounter a similar type of love?

Not mere definitions..But incidents!

But pls when u send us..
jsut tell us whether u r a girl or a guy?!

lets Play!

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 1:43 PM | Permalink | Comments

Engagement party... Bachelor's party... Bachelorette party... Wedding Party...
All heard of.

But Shanna Moakler decided to have a DIVORCE PARTY!

Well I couldn't resist the hysterical/ historical cake!

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 11:20 AM | Permalink | Comments

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 11:05 AM | Permalink | Comments

We have a problem. By "We" I mean single Egyptian females. As soon as we put college and all its achievement related anxiety behind us with a big sigh of relief, we are yet again faced with another challenge; getting a husband (preferably before the rest of our friends and female relatives). Suddenly, all every single person in our lives is interested in is when we're getting married. Mothers, aunts and older sisters are full of advice. Distant relatives and people we barely know are getting us potential suitors. Regardless of our career advancement and extracurricular activities, the marriage issue takes over our lives, whether we like it or not.

3o2balek ya 7abebty:
Ever since I graduated I've been bombarded with nosy questions and sly comments about my love life. One of my older female relatives was congratulating me on my graduation when she just couldn't help the follow up comment of " Yalla sheddy 7eilek ba2a we hatelna 3arees zay Marwa we Nermine". I had to bite my tongue to avoid saying "Asheddo ezay ya3ny? Anzel a2ool 3arees lelah?!" Another time I met one of my friends from college by coincidence in the street, and she kept looking at my hand incredulously while saying "Where's the ring?! I can't believe you're not engaged yet. We ALL are. Matyallah ba2a." Also on several occasions, people have wished me good luck on "finding" a good husband, like I'm going on a husband hunting trip. Why not wish me luck on "meeting" the right guy?!

Gaylek 3arees home delivery:
Personally, I don't understand what the rush is. People get married when they meet somebody, not the other way around. Why is there so much pressure on us to take this decision in the shortest amount of time? Of course, it's rare that a girl gets married against her wishes nowadays but the tacit pressure to do this can drive one to accept someone she doesn't really want just to get it over with.
Years ago when men and women didn't really mingle a lot, some people came up with the "brilliant" idea of fixing young people up by putting the girl and boy (and both their families) in one room (el salon) and letting both of them check each other out (discreetly) in this comfortable (not) atmosphere. These days things aren't so rigid, but the whole idea of "fix-ups" still has a lot of appeal to many people in order to hurry up the process. Most of the time, the fix ups don't work. How can we make this life changing decision in thirty minutes of sitting awkwardly across from someone we don't know with both our families watching expectantly? Anyway, the big problem is what happens after the "date". Our families are so eager for us to finally agree on a suitor that they're really disappointed when we don't. For them, our refusal is commonly called "dala3" and/or "tanaka" and this is often followed by "Enty 3awza meen ya3ny; Hussein Fahmy? Khaleeky et2amary keda le7ad matboury."

El7a2y el atr:
I was talking with some of my girl friends the other day, when one of them started telling us about a suitor recommended by her uncle. After she got to know him for a while, she felt that there wasn't enough of a spark between them so she broke it off. Afterwards she had this conversation with her uncle:
"What's wrong with him?"
"Nothing's wrong with him, he's alright. I just don't feel that he's the one."
"Well, if there's nothing wrong with him, why don't you want him?"
"I just don't feel that way about him"
"Maybe we can persuade him to change the things you don't like about him."
"Uncle Ahmed, there's nothing I don't like about the guy."
"Then WHY don't you want him?"
Another one had a similar story but with some additional insult. After she rejected a potential groom, her aunt (who'd recommended him) took her aside and started to slyly hint at a certain unwritten rule regarding girls and marriage in Egypt. "You know honey; you really shouldn't keep on being so choosy when we bring you suitors. I mean, we used to tolerate it when you were younger, but now…"

So basically girls, we have an imaginary expiry (or actually a best-before) date tattooed on our foreheads: the closer we get to the ripe old age of 30, the less our worth becomes in the marriage market. At this point, we will be expected to settle for a less successful, less good looking and less than our expectations husband simply because we are afraid of of the dreaded "3anes" label. This, as you know, would be a fate worse than death in this country!

Source: Mask-Off Magazine

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 10:58 PM | Permalink | Comments

How can you tell? In a dating scene as complicated as Cairo's; could you ever be certain that this blind date isn't really a black hole? Or that the person you are seeing isn't really some serial killer or some perverted freak?

Hmm to date is to take the risk, so I guess the question would really be to date or not to date? To meet someone new or not to? To take chances and just wing it and bear the consequences?

What would you do?

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 11:18 AM | Permalink | Comments

Have you been cheated on before?

I have.. a long time ago..
So how does that feel?

Betrayal.. a strong word.. has so much disrespect in it...

Women are, I think, by nature more loyal than men.. I guess men dont search for stability as much as they search for enjoyment.. while women are created as nesters.. looking for security/stability so as to settle down.. relax.. maybe make a family..

Men, the hunters, search for work, money.. & yes women..

Not all men ofcourse cheat, those are the ones who dont want to get caught.. & yes, who have respect & true love to their women.. a precious few.. (gladly i think in our community they are many).

Q: So, what does a woman do when cheated on?

a. confront him.

b. give him another chance.

c. find the "other woman" & give her a piece of her mind.

d. end everything without looking back.

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 11:03 AM | Permalink | Comments

You know how you feel when your guy shows up for your date wearing- for the umpteenth time- that fashion crime he calls a sweater? Well, you're not alone. Most of us would pay a 100000000000000000000 pounds to be able to burn at least one item in our boyfriend's/ fiance's/husband's closet. Anyway, I came across this last week on www.msn.com and I thought it basically summed up what women want their men to wear- and not to wear:-)



They like you in sneakers, they hate paisley, and you'd probably get more action if you dressed like a fireman. Here, the women staffers of Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, O, and Harper's Bazaar dole out advice in our exclusive survey.

1. I prefer a man's legs in:
A. Chinos 6.5%
B. Levi's 80.6%
C. Suit pants 9.7%
D. Board shorts 3.2%

2. The most flattering color a man can wear is:
A. Blue 41.9%
B. Green 3.2%
C. Pink 12.9%
D. Whatever matches his eyes 35.5%

3. The sexiest thing a man can wear is:
A. A tuxedo 22.6%
B. Rugged jeans and a plain white T-shirt 67.7%
C. Those Marky Mark boxer-briefs 6.5%
D. A pair of tiny Italian swim trunks 3.2%

4. I like it when he smells like:
A. Nothing 58.1%
B. A sweaty fireman 6.5%
C. Citrusy cologne 16%
D. Scotch 19.4%

5. If I could change one thing about my man's style, it would be:
A. I'd make him spend more than fifteen bucks on a haircut 25.8%
B. I'd teach him the subtleties of wearing or not wearing cologne 3.2%
C. I'd give away his double-pleated pants and buy him flat fronts 35.5%
D. His shoes. Oh, my God, his shoes. 25.8%

6. When I see a guy in sandals, I think:
A. A simple flip-flop will do 61.3%
B. He's coming nowhere near my uterus 6.5%
C. He has sexy toes. I want to see 'em. 6.5%
D. Sandals haven't looked sexy on a man since they were worn by the Son of God 25.7%

7. My favorite thing to borrow from my man is:
A. His worn-out button-down shirt 45.2%
B. His underwear 6.5%
C. His robe 12.9%
D. His State U. sweatshirt 32.3%

8. The most common male fashion crime I witness on a regular basis is:
A. Athletic socks worn with dress shoes 25.8%
B. Pants that are too short 32.3%
C. Grossly miscalculated uses of pattern 12.9%
D. A suit that's way too big 25.8%

9. A man who dresses better than me:
A. Would probably use all my expensive hair products 12.9%
B. Is my hero 16.1%
C. Yeah, right. Do you know who you're talking to? 19.4%
D. Is generally not interested in dating my gender 51.6%

10. My man looks best in:
A. Sneakers 35.5%
B. Boots 32.3%
C. Suede bucks 6.5%
D. A shiny pair of dress shoes 19.4%

11. I like it best when he comes to bed wearing:
A. Those flannel pajamas with the big buttons 3.2%
B. Just boxers 67.7%
C. Just socks 0%
D. Nothing at all 29%

12. I like his jeans to fit:
A. Like John Travolta's in Urban Cowboy 3.2%
B. Like Brad Pitt's in Thelma and Louise 83.9%
C. Like Jay-Z's onstage 3.2%
D. Like Huck Finn's in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn 3.2%

13. The acceptable dollar amount for a man to spend on a haircut is:
A. $15 29%
B. $50 41.9%
C. $100 22.6%
D. $0; I'm good with a pair of shears 6.5%

14. My favorite kind of suit on a man is a:
A. Two-button 32.3%
B. Three-button 51.6%
C. Double-breasted 9.7%
D. Sailor's suit 3.2%

15. My favorite type of men's shirt is:
A. A dress shirt with French cuffs 41.9%
B. A knit, short-sleeved polo shirt 12.9%
C. A plain white tee 42%
D. A taut, ribbed tank top that shows off his guns 3.2%

16. My favorite pattern for a man's tie is:
A. Paisley 6.5%
B. Collegiate stripe 16.1%
C. Plain, with texture 71%
D. The ones with all those cute little sailboats on 'em 3.2%

17. My favorite man in uniform is:
A. Naval officer 35.5%
B. Policeman 9.7%
C. Fireman 51.6%
D. My UPS guy 3.2%

18. If my man asked me to pick one style icon for him to emulate, I would pick:
A. Johnny Depp 25.8%
B. George Clooney 61.3%
C. Tom Wolfe 0%
D. Kanye West 9.7%

19. An average man becomes instantly bed-worthy when:
A. He displays finely manicured hands 6.5%
B. He wears an impeccably detailed dress shirt 22.6%
C. He dons a tuxedo 29%
D. He just doesn't give a damn 32.3%

20. A man should dress for:
A. His mom 0%
B. His boss 3.2%
C. Me 35.5%
D. Himself 61.3%

Most Disturbing Advice on Jeans:
"Above all, you've got to buy your jeans tight, guys, knowing they'll stretch. Jeans that are too big are, in my opinion, men's number-one fashion mistake." -Lauren Gard, Marie Claire

Most Welcome Advice on Scent:
"All men have their own scent-whether it be cigarettes and river water or the Old Spice aftershave that his mom buys him-and if they're sexy, then their smell is sexy." -Polly Brewster, O

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 1:19 PM | Permalink | Comments

Ever noticed that men are not too much into smiling?

Men either laugh out loud till glass breaks or they have this serious (sometimes dumb) look.
And the situation gets worse as they get older..

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 10:58 AM | Permalink | Comments

When Marilyn Monroe said that "Diamonds are a girl's best friends" she was right- to an extent. Diamonds have an uncanny ability to make a girl feel like a million bucks, but I say they take a back seat to a girl's real best friends; her girl friends.

Who else can you go to for advice on how to get a guy, how to keep a guy and how to get over a guy? A best girl friend is good for other stuff besides guy advice, too. She's able to assume the role of a personal stylist (on shopping expeditions), therapist, bodyguard (against ex-boyfriends and other girls who don't like you), advice columnist and Reuters (for gossip:-)). I don't even need to mention those great inside jokes (usually incredibly embarrassing or sex-related) that only you could get and the hilarious afternoons spent together doing nothing.

You know what's the best thing about having good girl friends? It's when you break up with a guy and your heart is completely broken and they all come over to your house with chocolate, pizza, other unhealthy stuff and a box of tissues just to hug you and say "That good for nothing creep. All along we'd all been thinking that you deserved better than that a******. What did you see in him anyway? I mean, he's going bald! And did you seeeeeee what he was wearing last time we went out? Ugh, those shoes! Honey, you're so incredibly beautiful you'll meet a guy ten times better looking and sweeter than that "@$$%^££. Richer, too. You'll see. Now cheer up and let's watch the movie we got for you. It's R rated."

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 1:13 PM | Permalink | Comments

Why anybody in their right mind would want to get on a women's bad side or risk being black-listed is beyond me. Women get hurt, get angry and eventually get REVENGE.

"Don't get mad honey, get EVERYTHING" ~ The First Wives Club

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 12:11 PM | Permalink | Comments

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 9:26 AM | Permalink | Comments

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 1:20 PM | Permalink | Comments

The male and female brains work in different ways. Fact.

On i-village there's an article on the "Seven things he won't know he's doing wrong until you tell him" (If only they were 7!):

1. Being abrupt on the telephone.
2. Offering solutions when you just want him to listen.
3. Being silent when he's considering his own problems.
4. Refusing to ask for directions when you're lost.
5. Looking at other women.
6. Making arrangements in front of people.
7. Giving vague responses about what he's been up to.

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 10:02 AM | Permalink | Comments

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 4:08 PM | Permalink | Comments

Couldn't resist the pic!
They should have another one with the right & wrong way of targetting your pee in men's bathrooms!
Men, I think, are actually blessed with a utensil *smirk* that makes peeing ooh soo much easier than women! They can just stand & have it done with..totally avoid close encounters with outdoor toilets!
But I'd guess that if someone had such a utensil for all their life..they'd know how to use it!!!!
WHY, oh WHY can't "most" men point at the center of the toilet?? Why do they splash all around??
At least we know what they think of in the toilet :P

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 10:13 AM | Permalink | Comments

Remember that time, when you were about oh, 16 or 17? I don't know about you, but I used to have a serious case of the "cheesies." Every crush I had was "true love, 4ever and ever", my desk at school was covered in "fakeeha loves ramzys"* and doodles of hearts and flowers, and I wrote poems! Long, mushy poems about unrequited love and long, tortured, sleepless nights. When I look back on those days I find it hilarious that I was such a drama queen. I actually have a folder of incredibly embarrassing poems I could post for your entertainment; stuff along the lines of:baby i luv u so much
i cant live without ur touch
But I decided to post something a little less lame. This is my only happy teenage poem (I mean, amidst all the "why don't you love mes" and "how could you leave mes". Ah, I miss those days:-) and one which I was encouraged to post by a new friend whom I hope wasn't just being incredibly nice and diplomatic when she told me it didn't completely suck:-)


A Promise

I promiseTo be your companion whenever you are lonely
To always have my arms wide open
Whenever you feel that you need me

I promise
Never to complain when you are in a bad mood
But to give you the time and space you need
And listen to you patiently whenever I could

I vow
To stay by your side even if you are wrong
But to tell you that fact to your face
However hard it stung

I vow
Never to redicule anything you say or do
Or laugh at your silly daydreams
Because, frankly, I’d expect the same from you

I swear
To be there for you no matter what
To help you in any way
Whenever life’s door is shut

I swear
To respect your feelings as if they were my own
To try to understand When you need to be alone
I knowThat one day I may make you angry, sad or hurt
But be sure that I’ll never mean itSo forgive me, no matter what I blurt

I know
That it’s sometimes hard for you to understand me
That it’s frustrating because you don’t yet know
That what I really need is your standing beside me silently

I appreciate
Every honest word you ever told me gently
Regarding something I was doing wrong
Your patience, when I resisted obstinately
I appreciate
Your faithfulness, your sacrifice, your loyalty
The times you were always there
And the wonderful way you let me be

I believe
That one day we may flow apart, you might not even need me
But my memory of you and what we shared
Will live on in my heart, right where it should be
I believe
That then if we close our eyes and think of each other
The smiles on our faces
Will mean that we remember what we had together

I want you to know
Your place in my heart and your value
I wouldn’t be the person I am todayIf it weren’t for you
I want you to know
That I’ll stand beside you through everything
I’ll share your laughter and your tears
And face with you what life may bring

My love
I pray to God everyday
To grant you the happiness you deserve
To guide you every step of the way
I also pray to Him thankfully
For the wonderful gift that is you
And to promise him
To treasure you
To cherish your friendship
Everyday of my life
And as long as I live



* Names have been changed to protect identities:-) (lol)

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 12:59 AM | Permalink | Comments

Posted by Asrar El Banat at 11:49 AM | Permalink | Comments