Warning: Expires at 30
We have a problem. By "We" I mean single Egyptian females. As soon as we put college and all its achievement related anxiety behind us with a big sigh of relief, we are yet again faced with another challenge; getting a husband (preferably before the rest of our friends and female relatives). Suddenly, all every single person in our lives is interested in is when we're getting married. Mothers, aunts and older sisters are full of advice. Distant relatives and people we barely know are getting us potential suitors. Regardless of our career advancement and extracurricular activities, the marriage issue takes over our lives, whether we like it or not.
3o2balek ya 7abebty:
Ever since I graduated I've been bombarded with nosy questions and sly comments about my love life. One of my older female relatives was congratulating me on my graduation when she just couldn't help the follow up comment of " Yalla sheddy 7eilek ba2a we hatelna 3arees zay Marwa we Nermine". I had to bite my tongue to avoid saying "Asheddo ezay ya3ny? Anzel a2ool 3arees lelah?!" Another time I met one of my friends from college by coincidence in the street, and she kept looking at my hand incredulously while saying "Where's the ring?! I can't believe you're not engaged yet. We ALL are. Matyallah ba2a." Also on several occasions, people have wished me good luck on "finding" a good husband, like I'm going on a husband hunting trip. Why not wish me luck on "meeting" the right guy?!
Gaylek 3arees home delivery:
Personally, I don't understand what the rush is. People get married when they meet somebody, not the other way around. Why is there so much pressure on us to take this decision in the shortest amount of time? Of course, it's rare that a girl gets married against her wishes nowadays but the tacit pressure to do this can drive one to accept someone she doesn't really want just to get it over with.
Years ago when men and women didn't really mingle a lot, some people came up with the "brilliant" idea of fixing young people up by putting the girl and boy (and both their families) in one room (el salon) and letting both of them check each other out (discreetly) in this comfortable (not) atmosphere. These days things aren't so rigid, but the whole idea of "fix-ups" still has a lot of appeal to many people in order to hurry up the process. Most of the time, the fix ups don't work. How can we make this life changing decision in thirty minutes of sitting awkwardly across from someone we don't know with both our families watching expectantly? Anyway, the big problem is what happens after the "date". Our families are so eager for us to finally agree on a suitor that they're really disappointed when we don't. For them, our refusal is commonly called "dala3" and/or "tanaka" and this is often followed by "Enty 3awza meen ya3ny; Hussein Fahmy? Khaleeky et2amary keda le7ad matboury."
El7a2y el atr:
I was talking with some of my girl friends the other day, when one of them started telling us about a suitor recommended by her uncle. After she got to know him for a while, she felt that there wasn't enough of a spark between them so she broke it off. Afterwards she had this conversation with her uncle:
"What's wrong with him?"
"Nothing's wrong with him, he's alright. I just don't feel that he's the one."
"Well, if there's nothing wrong with him, why don't you want him?"
"I just don't feel that way about him"
"Maybe we can persuade him to change the things you don't like about him."
"Uncle Ahmed, there's nothing I don't like about the guy."
"Then WHY don't you want him?"
Another one had a similar story but with some additional insult. After she rejected a potential groom, her aunt (who'd recommended him) took her aside and started to slyly hint at a certain unwritten rule regarding girls and marriage in Egypt. "You know honey; you really shouldn't keep on being so choosy when we bring you suitors. I mean, we used to tolerate it when you were younger, but now…"
So basically girls, we have an imaginary expiry (or actually a best-before) date tattooed on our foreheads: the closer we get to the ripe old age of 30, the less our worth becomes in the marriage market. At this point, we will be expected to settle for a less successful, less good looking and less than our expectations husband simply because we are afraid of of the dreaded "3anes" label. This, as you know, would be a fate worse than death in this country!
Source: Mask-Off Magazine
3o2balek ya 7abebty:
Ever since I graduated I've been bombarded with nosy questions and sly comments about my love life. One of my older female relatives was congratulating me on my graduation when she just couldn't help the follow up comment of " Yalla sheddy 7eilek ba2a we hatelna 3arees zay Marwa we Nermine". I had to bite my tongue to avoid saying "Asheddo ezay ya3ny? Anzel a2ool 3arees lelah?!" Another time I met one of my friends from college by coincidence in the street, and she kept looking at my hand incredulously while saying "Where's the ring?! I can't believe you're not engaged yet. We ALL are. Matyallah ba2a." Also on several occasions, people have wished me good luck on "finding" a good husband, like I'm going on a husband hunting trip. Why not wish me luck on "meeting" the right guy?!
Gaylek 3arees home delivery:
Personally, I don't understand what the rush is. People get married when they meet somebody, not the other way around. Why is there so much pressure on us to take this decision in the shortest amount of time? Of course, it's rare that a girl gets married against her wishes nowadays but the tacit pressure to do this can drive one to accept someone she doesn't really want just to get it over with.
Years ago when men and women didn't really mingle a lot, some people came up with the "brilliant" idea of fixing young people up by putting the girl and boy (and both their families) in one room (el salon) and letting both of them check each other out (discreetly) in this comfortable (not) atmosphere. These days things aren't so rigid, but the whole idea of "fix-ups" still has a lot of appeal to many people in order to hurry up the process. Most of the time, the fix ups don't work. How can we make this life changing decision in thirty minutes of sitting awkwardly across from someone we don't know with both our families watching expectantly? Anyway, the big problem is what happens after the "date". Our families are so eager for us to finally agree on a suitor that they're really disappointed when we don't. For them, our refusal is commonly called "dala3" and/or "tanaka" and this is often followed by "Enty 3awza meen ya3ny; Hussein Fahmy? Khaleeky et2amary keda le7ad matboury."
El7a2y el atr:
I was talking with some of my girl friends the other day, when one of them started telling us about a suitor recommended by her uncle. After she got to know him for a while, she felt that there wasn't enough of a spark between them so she broke it off. Afterwards she had this conversation with her uncle:
"What's wrong with him?"
"Nothing's wrong with him, he's alright. I just don't feel that he's the one."
"Well, if there's nothing wrong with him, why don't you want him?"
"I just don't feel that way about him"
"Maybe we can persuade him to change the things you don't like about him."
"Uncle Ahmed, there's nothing I don't like about the guy."
"Then WHY don't you want him?"
Another one had a similar story but with some additional insult. After she rejected a potential groom, her aunt (who'd recommended him) took her aside and started to slyly hint at a certain unwritten rule regarding girls and marriage in Egypt. "You know honey; you really shouldn't keep on being so choosy when we bring you suitors. I mean, we used to tolerate it when you were younger, but now…"
So basically girls, we have an imaginary expiry (or actually a best-before) date tattooed on our foreheads: the closer we get to the ripe old age of 30, the less our worth becomes in the marriage market. At this point, we will be expected to settle for a less successful, less good looking and less than our expectations husband simply because we are afraid of of the dreaded "3anes" label. This, as you know, would be a fate worse than death in this country!
Source: Mask-Off Magazine
I have a very close friend who just a week before her wedding had a fight with her fiance & in her anger said stuff about him that showed no sign that she loved him..while what he said showed no sign he respected her..
To my horror..they got married!
I understand why, you see since she was 18 her mom has been telling her "when i was your age i was pregnant with u.." & her dad "emta tela2y ebn el halal.."
Well i guess "ibn el halal" doesnt have to respect her...just marry her..
Posted by
Anonymous |
11:00 AM
I have a great way out of that conversation. "Ahem, I kinda prefer Eva Langoria to Fabio Cannavaro." Then smile ear to ear and leave them guessing if you were joking or for real.
Posted by
Anonymous |
10:30 AM
I can't help but to agree about every single thing you said in this post, having 80% of my generation in the family as females.. I do understand how they think in addition to other talents ya3ni .. anyhow, being the passive part of the suiting process.. you can't simply go to someone's parents and ask to marry'm .. I mean Guys do that, not gals..
so the girl is left alone with her waiting.. and some cunning schemes to trap the guy won't hurt a lot "that's what parents think" .. on the other hand, this whole process, makes some girls get so depressed and start thinking that they'll end up as spinsters at the age of 21 !! which I seriously find exaggerating ..
Some people might find the one at the age of 18 .. some other might find the one at the age of 28 .. so there's no label to put on this .. however, I do believe that every single person on the planet has a soul mate out there .. who feels depressed, alone , and unsuccessful as his soul mate does... it is only a matter of time before they meet each other.. and once that happens, there's nothing and i mean NOTHING in the universe that can keep them apart
as for the Salon fix up things, I kinda loathe it.. so inhuman.. people are not commodities to sell in a market ..
Last but certainly not the least, I do love your blog, and the layout too.. it is Ravishing, honest, daring and challenging .. I will keep comin back
Posted by
Anonymous |
1:57 PM
Well, I guess u r right.... This day I met a friend I haven't seen for a long time, and she kept telling me how most of her friends got engaged, and married, and bla bla blaaaaaa... It was like this got married, and that got engaged, and she is pregnant... I was like okkkk, I’m sooo happy for themJ Then tab3an she had to ask the normal question ( wento ba2a eih akhbarko?) all what I could say was.. mmmmmm ( with a very yellow smile) we are all fine el hamdol allah. Given the fact, that me and my best friends are considered 3awanes and we are only 23-24 years old. begad 7agga te2ref, zay maykoon mawaranash 7agga gheer el regala wel gawaz. Mesta3geleen 3alla eih, 3al sha2a?!
Posted by
Laloul |
4:35 PM
Hello!
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Bye, - MyGirl!
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Posted by
Anonymous |
11:40 PM
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